Ectopic Pregnancy

Spring 1998

For days I had felt a 'twinge' in the right side of my abdomen. It was nothing more than a twinge... and I had so many things to do, I didn't have time to be sick. As time went on, the twinge continued to worsen.. just a tiny bit at a time... until finally all I could do was curl up in a ball and try to ignore the pain. The only place where I was even the tiniest bit comfortable was in the old green lazy boy recliner that had belonged to my paternal grandfather. The chair reclined all the way back, and I in curled into a tiny ball in the seat

When Billy realized that there was something really wrong, he knelt beside me and said the sweetest prayer. He then called my Mom and asked her to please come sit with the girls so that he could take me to the Emergency Room at Woman's Hospital in Baton Rouge. 

In the Emergency Room, while answering the doctor's questions, I realized other symptoms that I had been having and didn't notice because of the twinge and the busyness of day-to-day life. Yes... I had a pain in my shoulders and neck. Yes, the pain in my abdomen was like the doctor described. After the consultation, the ER doctor ordered some tests and said he would be back soon. 

After the tests were completed, the doctor informed us that I was pregnant! He was concerned about the symptoms that I had, so he wanted to do a 'minor procedure' to learn the condition of the fetus. We agreed to the 'minor procedure' and a soon after I was being wheeled into the operating room. 

When I awoke several hours later, the doctor came in and explained to me that the 'fetus' was in the upper portion of my right Fallopian tube and that there was no way for the pregnancy to have been carried to term. While I was on the operating table, Billy gave the doctor permission to end the pregnancy. The doctor explained to me that he was very careful to 'milk the baby' down the tube  and extracted it through a tiny incision. The scarring would be minimal. Yes, I would be able to have more children. I asked the doctor how far along I was into this pregnancy. 8 weeks!  The 'fetus' was actually a baby! She had a heartbeat!

The physical scarring was minimal... the emotional scarring I still carry with me. A mother never completely heals from the loss of a child.

While my rational mind told me that the best decision had been made... The doctor said that it was either save me or let both mother and child die.  I felt like the baby had sacrificed her life so that I could live. I struggled with this for a very long time, still do at times. 

This hospital stay lasted for several days...  the doctors were not happy with my blood counts. My red and white cells needed to be up before I could be discharged. 

During this hospital stay, Mom brought the girls to see me. On one of their visits, when I woke they were there with me. Kaylan was in the bed curled up against me like a little teddy bear. Krissie was sitting right beside me, holding my hand. Mom was on the other side of me, watching one of her soap operas. I heard Krissie say... "Mommy is awake, Grandma!"  Mom then looked over at me and smiled her sweet sweet smile and said that the girls had picked out a get well gift for me in the gift shop. She then brought it to me. An adorable little basket made entirely of peppermint.. like a candy cane only it was a basket! Inside this basket was a heaping mound of Andes Mint Chocolates. The basket was wrapped up in cellophane and tied at the top with curly ribbons.